Posts Tagged ‘going back to school’

A partial list of why I’m down:

  • Y has truly been living up to his “diagnosis” of “quirky” lately and it has been wearing me down emotionally and mentally. I so so so so hope that school will help, because I so so so so need his “outcome” to be different from his brother’s
  • My toe is still not healed and it has been wearing me down.
  • Because of my toe  and my quirky kid, we have not done all of the fun summer things I had planned.
  • Upon reflection, I decided to postpone starting school. It did not seem like a good idea for EVERYONE in our house to be going to school this fall, especially when three of those people will be in school full time for the first time EVER.  I do believe it is the best decision I can make for my family right now, but I have been notorious for saying I was going to do something and then finding a reason not to do it.
  • My adult child with Asperger’s is still struggling to find a place for himself in this world. And really, I don’t know what I can do to help him, except be there to listen. 

I guess for right now I need to find a book to get lost in and look at the pretty roses that P gave me yesterday. And maybe make some blueberry muffins, even if standing for that long will make my foot swell.

the Beatles, I’m Down

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Like I said in a previous post Y,I, and E will all be going to school starting this fall. My daughter, I, started taking classes this past spring but in the fall she will be going full time. This will be a big change for them. But it will be a big change for me as well.

P and I got married a year before he graduated from college. I never did graduate. Sometime in my second year I got overwhelemed by school and just wasn’t able to finish. We had our first baby not long after he graduated. I had worked some in college ~ but not very successfully. I quit or was fired from very job I ever had.

Mothering my children was easy~ even when it was incredibly difficult ~ with A and Y  in particular. I love being a mother. I am good at it. A little quirky, but good.

The serious “let’s see if this will work for us” idea of sending the kids to school has been brewing since last fall. The decision was finally made this past spring. Since we made the decision most of my thoughts have been centered on making this work for the kids. On what we need to do to prepare them for this big change. But lately, my thoughts have also been about me. Wow, I’m going to have a lot of free time on my hands. What am I going to do with myself?

I will be walking Y to school and picking him up in the afternoon (for as long as he still wants me to that is), but that still leaves many hours in the day to fill. I would love to get back into knitting, quilting and crocheting. Maybe even really stock my abandoned etsy shop.

We live within walking distance of many things in our village (which has worked so well for me, since I do not drive). A few restaurants, the grocery store, many parks and a couple of lakes and… the library. Hmm. The library. I could see myself working at the library. I could really see myself working at the library. I wouldn’t have to drive to get there, everyone who works there is nice and kind of quirky too. I really think that maybe I could make that work.

So I decided that this fall I will start by volunteering at the library. They have a few different needs that need to be filled and that sounds like a great way to start.

But then I started doing even more thinking. What if I went back to school and got a Library and Information Technology degree? Then I would be even more appealing to the library. So that is what I am going to do with my time. I am going to volunteer at the library a few days a week and I am going to go back to school with the goals of getting my degree and eventually getting a job at our local library.

Changes for me are stressful. And so far nothing PRACTICALLY has changed. The kids aren’t in school yet. I haven’t started volunteering yet. I haven’t begun school. But I have started a blog. And I think it is related to all this other stuff. But I do believe I am ready to try some changes. I know there will be stress and I will probably want to quit at some point. But y’know, deep deep down? I don’t think I will.

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